


The Contradiction

by starlight1721



Series: The Time Traveller and his Celestial Sentinel [10]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s01e06 Dalek, Episode: s07e01 Asylum of the Daleks, Episode: s07e06 The Snowmen, Episode: s07e14 The Name of the Doctor, Episode: s08e01 Deep Breath, Episode: s08e02 Into the Dalek, Episode: s08e03 Robot of Sherwood, Episode: s08e04 Listen, Episode: s08e05 Time Heist, Episode: s08e06 The Caretaker, F/M, Gen, Humor, Irony, Romance, Team Not Dead, souffez - Freeform, whouffaldi, whouffle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-26
Updated: 2014-09-26
Packaged: 2018-02-18 22:11:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2363894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlight1721/pseuds/starlight1721
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He knew he was contradicting himself, that he was being awfully hypocritical, but when it came to one Clara Oswald, the Doctor had never been able to stop himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Contradiction

It was all very ironic, really. When he had changed, his feelings had alongside him. As it was, he had been truthful with Clara when he had told her he wasn't her boyfriend. Because it was true, he was no longer that silly man with the ridiculous bow tie and enormous chin that had so helplessly fallen in love with her.

He never expected that this him would do the same. But that was the power that Clara Oswald had, has, and would always have on him. _His_ Clara, _his_ Impossible Girl, managed to steal his hearts once more.

He shouldn't have been all that surprised, really.

* * *

Weeks passed before they met again. He left her without much thought, just like he did when he left her to face the Half-Man in Victorian London. He knew he would be back, so he didn't worry. She was furious when she saw him, obviously not keen at being left behind. Nonetheless, she was still Clara Oswald who promised to stay with him, so she followed him anyway.

She remained as clever as always. He expected her to be and she didn't disappoint, like she never did and never will. She helped him, made him see, reminded him of those two good Daleks he once meet. The Dalek that got mutated by his pink-and-yellow Rose's DNA and Oswin, her echo, who sacrificed her life for him. Both were Daleks that held a piece, a tiny little part of the two single most important beings in all of his existence.

It is then that he realized that he cared, _deeply_.

* * *

He knew he was contradicting himself, that he was being awfully hypocritical, but when it came to one Clara Oswald, the Doctor had never been able to stop himself. He had been ensnared once more by that __mystery wrapped_ in an enigma, squeezed into a _skirt_ that's _just a little_ bit too _tight__ and he was jealous.

Jealous of every man that gave her attention, be that Robin Hood, or the Sheriff of Nottingham, or that mysterious boy-toy of hers. He wanted her for his own.

And so he had fought Robin Hood, trying to make himself look amazing at only using a spoon against a man who held a sword. Or tried to show himself to be the leader of the group (and be extremely grateful for the fact that Clara was not there to see his and Robin's horrid attempt at freeing themselves, he wanted to look good, after all).

It all failed, really. He tried to save her, but like always, she ended up saving him. (And to make matters worse, Robin Hood, her favourite character, helped her do so.)

She almost died, too, a death that resembled that of her Victorian echo far too much for his liking. It was then that he realized just how much he really needed her. Because he may not be Clara's hero as she believed, but she certainly was his.

* * *

The situation only worsened after that. Clara went on a date with this mysterious man. He grew jealous, and so he began to drag her around more. He made her go mystery solving. They never do solve it, but he did discover something new, something even more impressive about Clara Oswald. And he had thought he had solved the only mystery worth solving of the Impossible, Souffle Girl, of the Women Twice Dead.

But she surprised him once more. Kept him on his toes like she always did. (It's one of the many reasons he can't help but love her.) It's the toy soldier that reminded him. He began to recall a far away time. He remembered being scared, frightened. Remembered a strong grip to his foot, then a soft voice. It turned into a soft hand on his head, carding it's fingers through his hair as whispered words accompanied it. They are the words that give him hope, that made him brave, that gave him his promise and made him no longer afraid.

_"This is just a dream. But very clever people can hear dreams. So, please, just listen. I know you're afraid, but being afraid is all right. Because didn't anybody ever tell you? Fear is a superpower. Fear can make you faster and cleverer and stronger. And one day, you're going to come back to this barn. And on that day you're going to be very afraid indeed._

_Fear can make you kind. It doesn't matter if there's nothing under the bed or in the dark, so long as you know it's okay to be afraid of it._

_You're always going to be afraid, even if you learn to hide it. Fear is like a companion. A constant companion, always there. But that's okay, because fear can bring us together._

_Fear can bring you home. I'm going to leave you something, just so you'll always remember, fear makes companions of us all."_

And it was then, as he recalled all of this, that he realized once more that without one Clara Oswald he would indeed be nothing. She helped create him, through her words, through leading him to the right TARDIS, through a promise long ago given to him, one he sought to fulfill. It was her that has been his most constant companion, always there for him, always saving the Doctor.

It was then that he began to fall in love with her again.

* * *

Soon enough, they were off again, this time, to rob a bank. Like always, it was thrilling, all filled with excitement and pumping adrenaline, that was until he almost lost her twice, his Clara. It was one of the most terrifying moments of his life.

He couldn't loose her, he couldn't live without her. And he doesn't, she lives. He would always be grateful to Psi and Saibra afterwards, not that he would ever admit it. In the end, he doesn't even wonder what his reward was, he knows. It has always been her.

_"See you. Don't rob any banks."_

_"Don't rob any banks what?"_

_"Without me."_

_"Course not, boss."_

And she left to go on that date with that mysterious guy.

_"Robbing a bank. Robbing a whole bank. Beat that for a date."_

And, as he accepted once more just how much she truly was the boss (and oh, she's definitely always being and always will be the boss, the only one actually able to control the time-travelling control freak.), he fell in love with her even more. In the end, he couldn't help but wish to keep her there, right next to him.

That was why he was grateful when he got the chance to become the Caretaker. Oh, if only he'd realized just how heartbroken this adventure would leave him.

 


End file.
